We’re reaching that time of year, folks; the iPhone event is probably only a few weeks away!
I couldn’t care less.
No, really. If there’s one piece of Apple hardware I’ve written about the least, it’s the iPhone. The reason is simple; I can’t think of anything to say about it.
Back when I bought the iPhone 12 Pro, I decided I’d conduct an experiment by running it for six months before switching to the iPhone 12 mini.
That never happened. Because I couldn’t be bothered.
In fact, the most fun I’ve had with a smartphone in the last 12 months was when I ditched my iPhone for a £350 Google Pixel 4a.
With iPhone 13 rumours beginning to intensify, I’ve decided to ditch the ‘Pro’ iPhone for a year.
Here’s why I’ll be going for the regular 13.
The iPhone 13 Pro (and, indeed, the regular 13) will come with a new super-fast chip.
It’ll be really fast. Like, stupidly fast. Better than anything the competition offers and the best iPhone we’ve ever made.
The iPhone 13 Pro will apparently have the same three-camera array as the iPhone 12 Pro. So, no big changes there.
However, supply chain leaks suggest it’ll feature a better sensor, improved zoom, and “more powerful LiDAR”. Sorry, are you still awake at the back? No, I said LiDAR. No? Don’t remember? It’s got something to do with augmented rea… never mind.
We’ll also probably see a better ultra-wide lens with an f1.8 aperture and a subsequent boost in low-light performance. Again.
I’ve just double-checked my camera roll, and the last three photos I’ve taken are of a cup of coffee, my girlfriend stroking a dog, and myself holding a pork pie (separate instances, I should note).
I don’t need a better camera on my iPhone. I haven’t since about 2017.
The new features
Let me quickly round up my opinions on the new features we’re reportedly going to see on the iPhone 13 Pro:
- Touch ID under the display or power button: why?
- A slightly smaller notch: we all got over the notch ages ago.
- 120Hz screen refresh rate: nice, but in no way life-changing.
- ProRes video recording: biblically pointless.
The above are the most likely-to-happen rumours I could find about the iPhone 13 Pro’s tentpole features.
The 120Hz screen is probably the most interesting, but trust me, as someone who doesn’t miss ProMotion now that he’s switched to an iPad Air 4 as his daily driver, it really has been rendered as nothing more than a ‘nice to have’ in my mind.
Ok, I really like the Pacific Blue colour on my iPhone 12 Pro. But, every single year, I always find myself longing for one of the non-Pro colours.
I have no idea why Apple thinks iPhone Pro owners are so dour and lifeless, but we’re always dealt such a boring hand when it comes to colour choices.
It sounds like it’s going to be the same story with the iPhone 13 Pro. The new kid on iPhone Pro Colour Street is expected to be bronze, which will probably resemble the shade you’ll find on your nan’s 1970s fireplace.
By comparison, you can bet your bottom dollar that the regular iPhone 13 will have some funky new colours. That’s what I’m interested in, thank you very much, Tim.
What Apple needs to do
Make it fold. Add a mini Apple Pencil. Do something interesting.
I am so bored of slightly improved camera tech, a new A[whatever] BiTriNeurotic chip, and endless faffing about with biometric security. Just like its inane determination to avoid experimenting with features that have long been highlights of other platforms, Apple needs to get over itself and give us an interesting iPhone.
Samsung is doing some really cool stuff with its phones at the moment, and I’ve always lusted after the Note, simply because it has a stylus. And, yes, that’s mainly because it looks cool (I know I’d barely use it). Sometimes, that’s all we need.
It looks like the iPhone will continue to be the boringly perfect brother among 2021’s smartphone lineup, which is why I’ll be saving some money this year and plumping for the slightly more interesting non-Pro version. Mainly because it’ll come in a different colour.
I might even get the little one.
What about you?